Mindfulness of Breathing – Journey 1 Week 5
It’s been generally an improvement over last week but sessions have ranged from good to poor, and even in the same session, results have varied wildly. Consistency is still some way off, I’m afraid.
Some good news is that my breathing has become more relaxed, particularly when I’m not counting breaths. In some sessions, it has been much softer and slower but the downside of that is that it also becomes harder to detect.
I’ve also had times when meditating where I’ve had no major distractions and have been able to follow the breath relatively easily. Even quieter thoughts that normally happen in parallel to the breathing have been largely absent at these times. These periods haven’t lasted for very long though, and I’ve still had a general fuzziness in my head.
In other sessions, my head has either been very busy or very sluggish (maybe tired), and these have not been conducive to a relaxed and focused mind. I come away from these sessions feeling like they were a waste of time but I try to convince myself that they will still have done some good.
Remember a couple of weeks ago when I felt my mind was jumping around like a tractor engine? That coarse vibration seems to have died down now, but midweek when I started to meditate, my mind started to flit around in a more delicate way. It immediately reminded me of a daddy long legs (Crane fly) buzzing around at a window. However, by the end of the session my mind had calmed and the feeling had gone.
I’ve stopped counting breaths again with the result that my breathing relaxes and I come more aware of my breath. The downside is that it is then harder to concentrate and my mind will get taken away on trains of thought. I need more practice.