Mindfulness of Breathing – Journey 1 Week 1
The thing that shocked me during the first meditation session, was how little concentration I actually had. I could feel the awareness of my breathing sliding away after just one in breath and out breath. After about three breaths, the thoughts would take over and I’d lose all awareness of breathing for quite a while. At the end, I estimated that I’d had a total of 1 minute out of 30 actually being aware of my breath.
My breath seemed a long way away, beyond a wall of thoughts and a fuzzy head from my cold. The sleepiness in the morning’s session from getting up earlier just increased the remoteness of my breathing. Trying to focus on something a long way away when there is so much going on much closer seemed impossible.
Meditation during the second day was barely any better, so the day after I decided to start counting on every out breath to see if it helped. Counting had an immediate effect – it gave my busy mind something to hook into and to follow. I was suddenly able to stay with the counting for 10 breaths, which gradually increased to 25 over the next few days.
Towards the end of the week, my mind was feeling a little less noisy and frantic in its thoughts with the result that my breath was feeling closer and more noticeable.
The other battle this week has been with my meditation position. I’ve been trying to sit in a cross-legged posture called the Burmese position. I’ve used this in the past because I’ve never been able to get into the Lotus position. I know it’s a comfy posture once you get used to it but my legs haven’t been stretched in that way for a long time.
15 minutes is the longest I’ve been able to stay relatively still, and then the pain in my legs has become too much. I’ve then ended up stretching one leg out in front, which has enabled me to carry on for a bit. The muscles in my lower back have all been aching but I’m hoping next week will be better.