Mindfulness of Breathing – Journey 1 Month 3 Summary
I had high hopes at the end of the second month but this month has been very disappointing. I think various things helped to work against the meditation such as a painful knee preventing me from sitting cross-legged, a cold that’s lasted a few weeks and a much busier everyday life.
The sudden barrage of thoughts during meditation has been quite shocking, particularly as I seemed to be gaining some control over them last month. Obviously, I hadn’t advanced as much as I thought I had! I feel as though I’ve been battered by storms and now just I’m drifting.
The ‘wall’ in my head is back, with me and my busy mind on one side, and the peaceful meditative mind on the far side. I can’t seem to break through the wall at the moment. It’s like the desire to do it has faded and, without that motivation, I don’t have the energy/strength/will to reach the other side. My metaphorical boat has no sail.
I’ve probably reached this point quite a few times in the past. The initial progress and enthusiasm has come to a halt, and I can’t get back on track. This is where I usually give up.